понедельник, 18 июля 2011
<...>I just cannot stop thinking about this thing. Should I try to make peace with this person? Or should I leave it as it is? Or should I try to explain? I guess she wants me to do something to make her stay. I might be wrong, though. Perhaps, she has grown up at last and I'm a thing from her past, that lingered for some mystrerious reason.
She might want to come back as if nothing happened some day. But the thing is that at the moment I, lacking the topics to discuss with her, is eager to make them up, but someday I might lack not only the topics but the wish to find them. And I know perfectly well that I won't do anything as I never try to prevent people from doing stupid things.
Our communication has been a bit difficult lately. In spring I did not have time to spend with her and when I when I did have it, I preferred to spend it reading or sleeping or doing something alone.
I did communicate with others though. But... the people I preferred to spend my time with never told me how wrong the way of life I'd chosen was. And actually these people never asked me to shop with them. I don't like shopping especially when I don't have money. Most of the time I do think it's a waste. It makes me remeber the vacation in Samara we spent together last summer. Actually I don't mind visiting one or two shopping centers but I do mind visitng every fucking shopping center in the city almost every day of the damn vacation. By the way, it was a non-alcohol vacation. I do not suffer without alcohol, but I did want to drink something that burns during that vacation. Perhaps, it was because I really need to spent some two hours on my own a day, and that time I couldn't afford it. No wonder that the end of that vacation was a nervous breakdown, heh.
I really love her in a way, she is my most lasting friend ever. I do appreciate her sincerity, her view of life, her attitude to many things. But... there is always a 'but'. Some things are just the way they are, so I'll just let her go. Guess she won't feel as sorry as I do.
@темы:
лытдыбрище страслоужаслое,
депра мглою крышу кроет
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18.07.2011 в 18:04-
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18.07.2011 в 19:14-
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18.07.2011 в 21:07-
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18.07.2011 в 21:46